[X&Y] "Will She Call Me Or Should I Call Her?" (Reader Question)

Published: Sat, 05/22/21



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IN THIS EDITION:   How do you manage situations where
she's the one who needs to call you rather than vice-versa?   

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BECAUSE SET-UP IS EVERYTHING


If you were a champion race car driver, you'd have tons of
experience behind the wheel, your mental preparation would
be amazing, and you'd have raw talent in spades.

But if your crew chief gave you a light blue four-door
econobox to drive in a Formula One race, guess what?  

You'd lose.  And it would be embarrassing.

The analogy I just presented is shockingly relevant to online
dating.

You can't vanquish the fastest, sleekest competition with
the world's most generic vehicle.

And you certainly won't ascend to the top of the podium
and leave with the "trophy girl" on your arm, either.

Okay...analogies aside.  You get the point, loud and clear.

I've talked to countless guys who think online dating is
utterly frustrating and/or completely worthless.  100% of the
time, of course, that's because they aren't meeting any
women.

Meanwhile, there are other men who fully understand online
dating to be the GOLD MINE that it is.  

What's the difference between those two types of guys?

It's all in the set-up.

Seriously, success at online dating has relatively little to
do with how good you are with women offline.

Instead, it's the guys who know how to get their profile firing
on all cylinders and ace first e-mails to women who win.

My 1-on-1 coaching program designed to get your set-up
down stone-cold perfectly is called the Online Dating
Success Package:



https://www.datetoorder.com



Equipped with the right first impression and the knowledge
necessary to get a woman's attention online and KEEP IT, you
get what you want...when you want it.

In other words, whatever your level of skill with women, you're
rocketing towards the Winner's Circle while other guys putt
around getting nowhere:



https://www.datetoorder.com



I've had guys call me a couple of weeks after an ODSP
laughing at the difference between "before" and "after".  

They tell me that had they known the power of getting their
profile and first messages right they would have been all over
it MONTHS ago.

How long can you go on without the right set-up?

Even as you think about your answer, other guys are out there
meeting the women you want.

Meanwhile, if you have any other questions specifically about
ODSP, just click "reply" and ask. 



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READER QUESTION:  "WILL SHE CALL ME OR SHOULD I
CALL HER?"


Hey Scot, On Sunday I called a woman I met on the train.  

I was wanting to set something up, so I asked her if she was free on
Tuesday night (I probably should have just asked her out on Tuesday
night and gave her the first right of refusal) anyway she didn't
know when she was free this week so she said she would call me.

She didn't seem like she didn't want to see me though.
 
Anyway she didn't call, so I called her yesterday after work, and
she apologised for not calling, she was apparently very busy.

We had a nice conversation on the phone, but it came to the point
where she said she couldn't go out this week cause her mum is going
back to China (for how long I don't know) so her mum wants to be
with her every night this week.

But she didn't know when she is free next week. She said, "So
how should we do this?" in regards to who should call later on.

I told her that as soon as she finds out when she is free to give
me a call.

Now I know I probably should have taken the lead and told her I
would call on a certain day.

I feel as I have now given my power away on the phone...TWICE...

Is there any recovery from this?

If later on in the week I called her would it come off as needy as
I told her to call me?

How would a great man act?

I was trying to use the frame of the chooser not the chaser, but
it's really hard to have that mind shift. Any advise would be very
much appreciated.
 

Thanks mate,

Darrell (Australia)



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Hello Darrell, and thanks for writing.

First off, let me say this:  you are doing MUCH better than you
think.


 Quote:  "She said, 'So how should we do this?'"
 

That is a clear indicator of interest.  When a woman shows
eagerness towards making firm plans with you in any way, you can
assume a strong likelihood that she is legitimately trying to make
it work.  

Contrary to some of the more "black and white" teaching approaches
out there (which is admittedly what some newbies need), some women
actually DO have commitments for the next week or so and/or REALLY
CAN'T make either of your suggested times.
 
How you handled it was perfect.  

You offered leadership by suggesting a couple of good times to meet.  

When she couldn't make any of them and had no visibility, you
demonstrated rather clearly that you aren't going to keep "chasing".  

Simply put, you can't get inside a woman's head, flip a switch and
make her decisions for her.  

If she's not giving you anything to hold on to, telling her you
aren't going to keep calling her and for her to call you back when
she's got this figured out is fine.
 
One thing guys forget is that women royally screw up as much in the
dating world as men do.  

And make no mistake, I see behavior just like hers from women all
the time.  

Women will call Emily having habitually related to guys the way this
one is relating to you--and wondering out loud why men "never call
[them] back" and why they "talk to lots of men but never go out on
any dates".
 
A big part of all this is allowing human margin for error in women
versus taking things so personally (and so SERIOUSLY).  

From there we not only give ourselves a much needed break, but we
become MUCH better at measuring character in women.  

See how that works?



 
 
 
 

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