IN THIS EDITION:  Is there any place for pure luck when it comes to
meeting and attracting women?  That exact question came up this
weekend...

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GETTING LUCKY


An excellent topic of discussion came up recently during a Ten-Plus
Live with a great guy from California.

To paraphrase how the whole thing started, he said something like
this:  "So...my last girlfriend was very cute and pretty nice.  I'm
wondering if I was just lucky to have a woman like that while it
lasted."

What a fascinating question.

As you may know, I've written some pretty "luck-proof" statements
in the past.  

Among them are, "If you can get even ONE great woman to like you, I
guarantee you can get others to also."  

"Women appreciate a man who does the best with what he has."   

And, of course, there's the ever-popular "deserve what you want".

I've even gone so far as to boldly state, "Show me a 'big four' man
who says, 'no women want to go out with me' and I'll show you guy
who hasn't actually asked any women out."

Nevertheless, I wanted to offer due diligence to my guest's thought
process.

You see, my "knee jerk" reaction was to say that luck has ZERO to
do with ultimately attracting the kind of woman you want.  Those
same statements I've written about in the past and repeated above
are tried and true.   

That's the way it is, at least when it comes to the "end game".

But wait a second.  What about when it comes to OTHER aspects of
relating to women that may come up along the way?

For starters, I had a hard time refuting this point of his:  
"Well, I know this for sure.  If I log on to an online dating site
it's completely up for grabs how many of the newest women who've
signed up are actually interesting."

Again, that's a paraphrase.  We must have talked about 1000 things
that weekend, and I didn't exactly record any of it.

But whatever the exact words that my friend said were, he made a
good point.   

In fact, the overall gist of it was proven out even as we went out
on the town.

Some venues that had been reliable hangouts for hotties in the past
were practically devoid of any attractive women this time around,
and vice-versa.

Sometimes when you go out expecting to meet women, you really do
have to rely on a stroke of good fortune.  It's a bit like going bird
watching, if you think about it.

So what about when you actually approach a woman and talk to her?  

A ton of guys automatically presume that if it doesn't go as
expected it's automatically their own fault.

Well, hold on there.  What if she's had a bad day and/or just hung
up from a frustrating phone call?  Perhaps an otherwise friendly
woman might have been out of sorts right when you talked to her.

Surely luck would come into play there.

Yet, the fact remains that my perfect record of running Ten-Plus
Live experiences without any man EVER having been responded to
rudely or in an insulting manner remains intact.

As in, it has NEVER happened.

Given that other dating coaches train guys specifically on how to
deal with snippy, bitchy women I'm going to stand by my own
personal belief that I'm on to something with the way I teach the
art of meeting women.

If you treat an interaction with a woman as a simple conversation
instead of some high-stakes pickup, that helps...objectively
speaking.

So does being a masculine, confident "big four" man who's got her best
interests at heart rather than repeating some rote routine.

All told, luck is a far smaller piece of the puzzle than most guys
think, I'd say.

Then again, when the guy I hung out with this weekend and I noticed
six (count 'em) women sitting together and decided we should talk
to them, it was obvious we'd have to bring a bit of energy in order
to break the ice.  

It was most surely "dumb luck" when both of us said, "So, are you
ladies all having a great time?" in unison.   

They were all sitting at a round table, and the one blondie
positioned closer to us than the rest nearly jumped out of her
chair as if someone suddenly cranked a set of stereo headphones to
"10".

All I could do was laugh in the moment, point to my friend and say,
"Go ahead and try that one again".  The levity diffused any
potential awkwardness, and everything turned out okay.

But then it came time for an even bigger challenge in the form of
three women, only one of whom my friend thought was attractive.  

Amazingly, they were all extraordinarily friendly, outgoing and in
a great mood.  They made it altogether simple to involve them all.

Since they were unabashed flirts, I could naturally "wing" for my
friend quickly and easily without anyone feeling left out.

I have to admit, situations like that aren't always so
uncomplicated.  We got a bit lucky there, I'd say.

Here's an interesting twist on the things, though.

As the weekend went on my guest gradually started meeting sharper
and sharper women...and getting more and more enthusiastic
responses from them.

That was NOT luck.  

Suffice it to say the two bona-fide cuties with Texas A&M jerseys
on that we met at 1:00 am on Saturday night were the hottest--and
friendliest--of all.

And believe me when I tell you these two weren't going to let my
main man out of their site.   

All it took was congratulating them on their team's win and the
ball was rolling...and rolling...and rolling.

So what does this all come down to?  

Well, first and foremost don't think of yourself as "lucky" to have
a great woman in your life long-term.  

Let's just put it this way.  If you adore her it's probably because
she, like you, is a chooser not a chaser.

As such, to attribute her choice to "luck" is an insult to how
amazing she is.  She knew exactly what she was doing when the two
of you chose each other, and like you she was deliberate about it.

But at the beginning?  I've got to admit that random good fortune
(aka "luck") enters into the equation when it comes down to being
at the right place at the right time to meet women you really
desire.

That said, as you actually approach them and talk to them, the more
of a "big four" man you are the less of your good fortune will be
attributable to randomness.