[X&Y] Female Wonderland

Published: Fri, 08/27/21



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IN THIS EDITION:  It's a "man's world"...best fitted with certain
feminine accessories.  Ha!

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FEMALE WONDERLAND"


Not long ago we were just north of Dallas visiting with
Emily's sister and her husband.

During these visits it's always particularly fun for me to hear
stories from my wife's childhood, as told by her younger sibling.

Just such an opportunity presented itself when Emily appeared in
the living room on Saturday night in a certain pink set of "footie"
pajamas...a gift from me.

I really, really, really like how she looks in them.  What can I
say?

 
Well, her sister chimed in out of nowhere.  "Emily and her PINK
stuff.  Man, when we were kids I couldn't wait for her to move out
so I could paint the room."

Emily and her sister had apparently shared a bedroom growing up.
This I had to hear about.

 
"So, what was the deal?"
 
"It was like I was living in 'Pepto-Vision', that's what!", she
responded.

Indeed.  That's a fitting description of what living with my
uber-feminine wife is like.

In addition to pink PJs, she's got (among other things) a pink and
black sundress, pink fingernails, a pink makeup case, several songs
by "Pink" on her iPod, a pink "iPho" t-shirt from Vietnam and pink
water sandals for river exploring.

For what it's worth, the full-race BMX bike she competed on at
the BMX World Championships was custom-painted in hot pink,
thanks to my friend who runs the bicycle company it came from.

And not too long ago, in response to the mutually-agreed upon
decision that our bed needs new linens, she went to some store
(without me, thank you) and texted me a pic of her first choice:
festooned with pink roses, albeit tastefully.

Fine.  That works for me.

Now, at this point one of you out there is probably already saying,
"What a wuss with a capital 'P', dude.  I can't believe you're
letting your chick litter your life with a bunch of girlie stuff.
Why don't you man up and 'caveman' her into living your way?
What kind of man would sleep in some pink, rosy bed?"

I would, that's who.  And I'll love every minute of it.

Now, just in case you're among the chorus out there wondering if
I've cashed in my "man card" here, let me tell you a little story.

It's a true one, no less, so hang in there for this.  Deal?

Once upon a time, I knew I guy.  I actually really liked the dude.
He was really easy-going and yes, a total "man's man".  He'd made
it big in the travel insurance biz and had a serious car collection.

He also had the garage on his property to support it, complete with
a working gas pump from the 40s or 50's. There was a checkerboard
floor, a rambunctious set of tools in a gargantuan "Snap-On" toolbox,
etc.

His house was also very nice, as was his wife.

When it came time to get her a new car, the guy ordered her a
three-quarter ton 4x4 Chevy Suburban, in white because it gets hot
around here.

Form follows function, don't you know.

Essentially, he didn't put up with any pink, "femmie" ANYTHING in
his life.

Accordingly, their home had lots of cool stuff in it, but there was
really no "woman's touch" to be found, save for some fancy
silverware.

So ultimately, just about everything in his world was about as
"macho" as it gets.

Even his wife, as it turned out.  (Surprised?)

Yes, his "nice" wife wore jeans and sweatshirts, never wore makeup
and pretty much looked and acted like a boy, frankly.

Now if that sounds like "paradise" to you, so be it.  Maybe it was
to him...I guess.

But right now I want to make a solemn recommendation to both types
of guys out there who are reading these newsletters.

The first type of guy is the one who wants to have a bunch of women
in his life and doesn't care much about getting married, having
kids, etc.

To you I say, "rock on".  Get all the "macho" toys you'd like and
date whoever you want.

That way she can rock all of her "femmie" stuff on her own time,
while you enjoy the benefits of it when you see her.

Your respective living spaces and the living arrangements that go
along with them never have to cross.

Just make sure you never, ever actually marry one of those
women, unless you can dig what I'm about to say to the SECOND
type of guy.

And, of course, you're that second type of guy if deep down you
really would like to meet one great woman, have some kids and
build a great future together.

Well, to you I'd say give this whole matter I'm talking about here
today some serious, well-rounded thought.

On paper, it sounds really good to build your "macho palace" and
then expect to invite some sexy hottie along to share it with you.

But I'm telling you, if you make the decision to share your world
with the kind of feminine honey who really turns you on (and you
know she does), then you have to deserve what you want.

That means if you want her to remain 100% woman all the time,
you have to let her be exactly that for you, and give her the space
to do it in.

And if you're smart, you'll be the first to empower her as such.

What does this mean?

Well, for example, it means you don't spit and cuss when she spends
$75 of hard-earned money on a manicure and a pedicure.  Consider
that a valid investment, instead.

And if she wants one of those silly Buick SUVs in pearl white with
tan leather instead of whatever you envision her driving, you don't
try to change her mind.

And for Pete's Sake (whoever he is), let her take charge of
decorating the master bedroom...and the formal dining room...and
the friggin' Christmas tree.

For starters, she'll do a better job than you would anyway.

But second, she'll like spending more time in that bedroom--
ravishing you with female attention.  That's just how women
are.

And weirdly, you'll soon realize that getting ravished by her in a
female wonderland is oddly a bigger turn on anyway.

And if she LOVES her formal dining room, then she'll LOVE throwing
cool social events and having friends over.  That's another score
for you.

AND...best of all, if you lead in the way I'm telling you, she'll
follow it.

That's 100% truth that you can take to the bank, right there.

You won't only keep the important parts like the garage, the
office, the home theater all to yourself with zero resistance,
she'll be GLAD to stay outta your way in there.

In the end, you'll get just about everything you want--with your
chick's blessing--while still enjoying the rich and innumerable
benefits of having a 100% feminine woman who turns you on to no
end.

If she works and makes her own money, she may even BUY you
that Ducati you've had your eye on (and put a big pink bow on it
when she gives it to you). Biposto, please.

If you think I'm overstating this, I urge you to put it to the test--if
only in principle if you're not exactly to the Buick SUV and Ducati
1299 stage in your financial future just yet.

And yes...it's highly likely that you'll actually like the "feminine
touch" she puts on her corner of the relationship.

There's nothing to fear here.  You remain a man while she remains a
woman, and you peacefully coexist in the world you share together.

This isn't about hamfisting your masculine power in every
direction you can think of.  This is about LEADING, like a real man
does.

When you get that right, I promise you'll like your world...and the
fact that SHE will also will make it all even better for you.

For my part, I still have my framed picture of John Belushi in the
main living room, next to all the motocross trophies and the pool
table.  Other dudes come over and marvel at how I pull that off.

The "trade off" (if you can even call it that) is that I get to
bask in the glory of "Pepto Vision" at night while watching movies
on Netflix...in the form of pink, fleecy "footie" pajamas curled up
adoringly next to me.


 
 

P.S.  Oh, by the way...I know there are some ladies out there reading
this.  As usual, what I'm talking about here is NOT gender-specific.

Mark my words...as soon as you get a guy and start pressuring him to
sell that Ducati and fill his garage with a bunch of boxes of old
clothes instead, you're on the path to certain relationship doom.

Things will get even worse if you "veto" the 86" television and
threaten to bulldoze his "man cave"...along with the Stevie Ray
Vaughan poster and "Guinness" bar stools in it.

Should you actually succeed, you can expect to find yourself with a
"p-whipped girlie boy" in no time.  And you're NOT going to be
attracted to him anymore.




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