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WHAT'S INSIDE:  If you're suggesting to women that the two of you
"hang out sometime", what follows could prove interesting...

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ASKING WOMEN TO "HANG OUT WITH YOU SOMETIME"


No doubt, you definitely don't want to use that infamous "D" word
when talking to a woman about potentially meeting up with her
face-to-face for the first time.

The idea of "dating" sounds WAY to formal, and pre-loads the time
you'll spend with her with unnecessary pressure.

So then, as you may know already I've always favored the
suggestion, "let's make plans" instead as a powerful three-word
phrase to convey to a woman that you'd like to see her--doing so
with the power of suggestion but without any pre-expectation or
silly innuendo.

I've watched the coolest, smoothest guys I know use that phrase
with stunning success again and again over the course of my adult
life.

Still, there are guys who apparently prefer to suggest to women
that they "hang out together" when planning "first meetings" (or
whatever you want to call them in lieu of "first dates") with women.

Now, let me be the first to freely admit something to you.

In the past I've been generally neutral about the idea of
suggesting that you "hang out" with woman as a euphemism for
asking her out on a "date".

I've not exactly told you to avoid that phrase.

But based on several e-mails I've received from you guys in recent
weeks that's about to change.

There's a fascinating pattern going on lately.  The implied meaning
of "let's hang out sometime" is changing in women's mind.

VERY strong evidence is pouring in that "let's hang out" is coming
across nowadays as "let's hook up".

Your mileage may vary depending on your geographical location, but
at the very least that means that if many of you are still using
that phrase you might as well be ordering up a "booty call".

Now hey, if you believe that's precisely the implied expectation
between you and a particular woman, then "let's hang out sometime"
might actually be your best way to phrase what you have in
mind...all in the name of preserving subtlety and a modicum of
respect in the context of a purely sexual fling.

BUT...if you aren't in that frame of mind with a certain women you
are interested in, then you might want to go with "let's make
plans" instead.

It's no big thing, really.  If you're over 30 you might recall when
saying, "let's hook up" didn't necessarily imply sex.

Similarly, if you've ever watched action/adventure flicks from the
mid-eighties, you may have gotten a laugh out of the bad guys
referring to shooting someone as "doing him".

Things change.

And it would appear the bell has just tolled on the phrase, "let's
hang out".

Interestingly, every guy who has related a similar unhappy ending
due to sloppy usage of "let's hang out" mentioned that text
messaging was involved.

Guys, you have to remember that whenever you go with a text message
rather than a phone conversation you're losing all non-verbal
communication.  

As such, you give away much of your masculine power to lead as you
choose.  The margin of error for misunderstanding is just too great.

That's why I explicitly recommend that any and all real 2-way
conversations (especially when serious content is involved) should
take place on the phone.

Can you see how a phrase like "let's hang out" can particularly
fall victim to misinterpretation?

To be completely honest with you, even if a woman takes "let's hang
out" at face value, there's still plenty of reason to stop using
it.

For example, guys all too often use that phrase in a way that implies
"we should hang out together sometime".

In other words, it leaves the loop open.

Even worse, it lends itself to a passive question form.  For
example, a guy might ask a woman, "Would you like to hang out
sometime?"

That not only lacks attractive leadership quality, the syntax
seeks to soften the impact of your request to spend time with
the woman.

Weirdly, it comes off as if you feel you need a euphemism for
"date" in order to mask your non-platonic intentions and slide
them under the door.

On the other hand, "let's make plans" has a bold, decisive tone.

Plus, it somehow carries the implication that the arrangements to
meet will be made right there and right then...on the spot.

That's all the more reason to reach for that phrase instead, isn't
it?

All in all, it's best to break the habit of using "let's hang out" from
now on when interested in meeting up with women...especially if
you aren't going to break the habit of asking women out via text any
time soon.