[X&Y] Beautiful, Cute And Sexy

Published: Tue, 09/18/18


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WHAT'S INSIDE:   Ever overheard a woman wishing she was "beautiful"
instead of just "cute"?  What's up with that? 

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BEAUTIFUL, CUTE AND SEXY:  WHAT DO THESE TERMS
REALLY MEAN?
 

I know what you might be thinking.

"What on Earth do we need this newsletter for?"

If you found yourself asking just that upon reading the title, stay
tuned.  You may be in for a big surprise.

Why is that?  Simple.  Although very often used in similar
contexts, these three terms are not really interchangeable. 

In fact, it's not only possible but also probable that a certain
woman, child--or even a man--may be one or both, but not all
three.

Let's break it down:


 
  Beautiful

  beau·ti·ful
 
  adj.

  1.    Having qualities that delight the senses, especially the sense
  of sight.



Below the above definition on www.dictionary.com, the phrase
"excites aesthetic admiration" qualifies it further. 

So, when we find someone "beautiful" in the most visceral and
commonly used sense, we are recognizing that the person is easy
on the eyes.

That said, a sense of overall sensual delight is implied in the
definition, allowing for beautiful music, a "beautiful soul", etc.


 
  Cute

  cute    
 
  adj. cut·er, cut·est

  1.    Delightfully pretty or dainty.
  2.    Obviously contrived to charm; precious



If a person is perceived to be charming and precious, this causes
the beholder to be enthralled and to ascribe great worth to him or
her. 

Now, notice here that the first definition specifically points to the
kind of femininity that "delights".  This would make "cuteness" in
this regard decidedly a female thing. 

However, being "charming" is exactly what would cause a man to
be seen as a "cute guy"...unless, of course, the terms are getting
crossed up here, which is exactly what we're seeking to clarify.

Notice that being "cute" is not necessarily about physical
appearance.  What it is about, concisely put, is "warm fuzzies".

"Cute" people endear us to them, filling our hearts with emotion.
They bring a smile to our faces and make us want to hug them.

Show any red-blooded woman pictures of kittens or baby ducks,
and you'll see this emotional response for yourself.


 
  Sexy
  
  sex·y   
 
  adj. sex·i·er, sex·i·est

  1.    Arousing or tending to arouse sexual desire or interest.
 


Someone who is 'sexy' arouses an animal sexual attraction.  It's
that simple.  No further explanation required.



OK, so how can we use this information?

For starters, I think it's crucial for us to know the difference
between these three adjectives and how they relate to not only
ourselves but our view of others.

Although they're clearly not interchangeable, they are very much
interrelated.

Know who you are and how that affects your world.  Then, know
what you are looking for in the dating world and understand why.

Simply thinking about all of this with the lights on will help you
sort these somewhat subjective concepts out for yourself, but far
be it from me to leave you without some basic thoughts.

For example, I don't know how many times I've heard a  woman
say, "I am SOOOO sick of hearing how 'cute' I am.  Why can't I be
beautiful?"

But "cute" is not a bad thing.  Considering the depth cuteness has
relative to either "beautiful" or "sexy" as pertaining to the entire
being, I could argue that cuteness rules over either of the other traits. 

In fact, I personally consider cuteness in women to be a major pointer
to both beauty and sexiness.  Not everyone is like me, but I know I
am not alone.

Sexiness is a trait that is best defined by those in a position
to be sexually attracted.  If this sounds way too obvious, think
again.  I've heard plenty of heterosexual women attempting to sort
this out with regard to other women.  Usually, they are perceiving
cuteness or beauty as automatic sexiness.

Or, they are considering another woman and "wondering what men
see in her".  Indeed, sexiness may very well be independent of
cuteness or physical beauty, and largely defined by archetypal,
primal factors.

It is also entirely possible to be "beautiful" and yet be emotionally
uninspiring in either of the other two areas.  Think of someone you
know who you realize is visually appealing, yet you just don't "feel
it" for her.  You got it...she's neither cute nor sexy to you. 

They look good, but aren't attractive.

For me personally, models in department store catalogs and Wal-Mart
circulars (i.e. anyplace other than the "sexy" lingerie shops like Victoria's
Secret) are often quintessential examples of what I am talking about here.

What category someone falls in is completely subjective, of course.
Not only do opinions vary between people, but these opinions are made
purely unconsciously.  We do not make a deliberate decision, per se, as
to where to slot someone.

To sum it up, my humble opinion is that three completely different
emotions are driven by the three respective traits discussed.

Beauty drives admiration.  Cuteness drives affection.  Sexiness
drives desire. 

Where are your priorities when it comes to all of this?  One or two
above the other(s)?  All three?  None of the above?  Are you sure? 


Be Good,

Scot McKay


 

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