[X&Y] Who Should Pay On Dates? (And How Not To Pay Anything At All)
Published: Wed, 09/05/18
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WHAT'S INSIDE: You get to the end of the dinner date, and the
waiter hands you the bill. Now what? Should you pay the bill,split it in half, or what? Check out my surprising answer below...
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ARE YOU PAYING TOO MUCH FOR DATES?
I got the following message from a guy not too long ago, and I
wanted to share it with you:
How's it going, Scot:
Tell you what - English is not my native tongue still I'll try to
get myself across.
Who pays??? I got it firmly fixed in my cerebral cortex that if you
buy her drinks/meals your dating game is lost. So the waiter hands
us two the bill. I leave a pause. The silence becomes excruciating.
What happens next - she either coughs up her share with a look of
defiance as though saying "you [honkin'] cheapskate" or, with even
more defiance, out loud, "You're a man so you must pay!" In both
cases, you're the loser because the rapport is crushed to the ground.
There is no second date afterwards. How do I handle that?
Yours,
Kemal
My answer to Kemal was very simple, and it's the same definitive
answer I'd give you, also: Whoever invites pays.
And since you're a man in control of your reality, that means you should
definitely take the bull by the horns and be the one who makes plans
with a woman.
When that happens, you'll need to cover the costs.
I mean, think about it. This is just human nature at work.
If someone were to invite you somewhere cool, you'd probably go,
right? But what if that same friend said at the end of the whole
experience, "Hey man, go ahead and pick up the tab for this one...I
know you won't mind."
You probably wouldn't hang out with him much anymore, would you?
I mean, some friend, huh?
Look, I get it. I understand that we've all been taught that throwing
a lot of money at women we barely know will basically cause her to
lose respect for you and think of you as a "walking ATM machine".
And make no mistake about it, that's 100% true.
So it's no wonder that Kemal is writing me. What a mess, right?
Well, fortunately there's a very simple, uncomplicated solution to
this predicament:
Stop taking women out on expensive dates, especially "dinner
dates".
dates".
Unfortunately, "dinner and a movie" is pretty much embedded in our
conscience as the default plan for taking a woman out.
But what if I told you there was a better way?
What if you could create way, way more attraction...all the while
doing something with a woman that you both actually enjoy?
And what if your new way of planning time with women caused
them to want to get frisky with you first?
And best of all, what if you could get all of that done while spending
far less money...maybe even none at all?
Here's what you do. Simply plan a get-together where the two of
you go somewhere and simply get to know each other?
It could be a park. It could be downtown in the city. It could
be anywhere, really.
If you feel like you've succeeded at causing her to feel safe with
you, take her somewhere where you can throw a blanket down and
just stare at the stars.
Ask her about her dreams. If the opportunity comes up to share a
funny story or a joke...do so.
Remember always. You do not impress a woman by spending
money on her and/or piling on the pressure.
If a woman is truly into you, all she really wants is to explore your
connection together.
By simply focusing on each other somewhere you can be alone, you
really heighten a woman's sensuality. She's going to be excited to
be interacting with you.
From there you can do thinks like look into her eyes and smile,
whisper in her ear, thumb wrestle...whatever.
I really hope that doesn't sound lame to you. It's not "macho"
by any stretch, but representing to a woman what she wants in a
man is masculine by her standard of measurement.
She feels safe with you. You're confidently leading. You show
character by not being opportunistic in your desire to get your
hands all over her.
In short...you're a "big four" man.
And make no mistake about it: When you lead with what inspires
sensuality in her, it comes back to you as sexuality.
You can throw sexual inuendoes and "kino escalation" out the
window. Try the simple steps I'm suggesting and she's likely to
ask you, "How long are you going to make me wait?"
And again...you can get the job done with little or even no money
spent whatsoever.
Be Good,
Scot McKay
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