[X&Y] 3 Steps To Post-Vday Success (Caution: It's Weird This Year)
Published: Fri, 02/15/19
WHAT'S INSIDE: This weekend you'll either have this mindset, or
you'll completely miss out on meeting a bunch of women.
you'll completely miss out on meeting a bunch of women.
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DOMINATE YOUR METRO AREA...AND THEN JUST KEEP
ON WINNING
ON WINNING
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3 "NO BRAINER" STEPS TO POST-VALENTINE'S DAY SUCCESS
Have you heard the good news?
It really is true that the week or so after Valentine's Day represents an
even BIGGER opportunity to meet women than the week or so BEFORE
February 14th.
And this year, the first three days afterward are THE WEEKEND.
Cash money.
So here goes...
Many women may be busy looking for a date in the days leading
up to Valentine's Day.
But what if they didn't FIND ONE? What if her "social calendar"
was empty last night...and there's still NOTHING going on for
her this weekend?
Here's the plain truth: Unless a woman is one of the relatively
few who is already in a blissfully happy relationship, all she can
probably think about right now is what a disaster her dating life
is.
As a matter of fact, it might be really eating her up that she
doesn't have a date, let alone a steady boyfriend.
And what do we as human beings (regardless of gender) tend
to want to do when we're experiencing something painful
We want to get rid of that pain, don't we?
Ah...well guess what my good friend? It's very true that YOU may
be the bearer of that magic elixir that cures all for the woman of
your choice.
That's right. I said "woman of your choice".
Don't kid yourself, even for a second. It's not at all like every
amazing woman on Earth is already in one of those aforementioned
"blissfully happy relationships".
You have such a ridiculous bounty of beauties before you this time
of year that it's almost mind-bending to think about.
Here's a hint: If she's still ACTIVE on a dating site or app right now,
she's not exactly pleased with how "Valentine's Day Weekend" is
shaping up.
Every lasting, blasting one of them is DYING to meet a guy...and
be asked out.
So how about it? Are YOU going to be the "knight in shining armor"
who rescues a terrific woman (or three) from dateless distress?
You can and should be. But it's FAR, FAR more likely to happen if
you follow these three practical steps:
1) KNOW HER MINDSET
Above and beyond everything I've told you so far, let's cut to the
chase.
If a woman is officially "single and looking" on February 15th and
shortly thereafter, you can virtually rest assured that she doesn't
have any guy in her life whatsoever who "does it" for her...at all.
I mean, think about it. If there WAS a guy around for her to go
out with earlier this month, they went out last night...or at the
very least are going out this weekend.
And even if she HAS been out on a date that went well lately,
she's probably be thinking more about the second date than about
checking her online dating messages, right?
So in other words, what's racing through her head about now is
pretty much the painful reality I've described at the beginning.
Importantly, this translates to the breathtaking reality that
EVERY woman who's been "active recently" (or "active now",
obviously) on sites like Match.com or OKCupid could really, really
use some positive reinforcement.
That's right. Right about now, you have ZERO pre-existing
"competition" when it comes to getting their attention online...as
in, ALL of their attention.
2) WHATEVER YOU DO, DON'T MENTION THAT YOU'RE
SEEKING TO RESCUE HER FROM NOT HAVING A DATE
ON V-DAY
SEEKING TO RESCUE HER FROM NOT HAVING A DATE
ON V-DAY
Most guys are trying to leverage the "post-Valentine's Day funk"
in some tangible way.
This translates into first messages to women online--or even
"openers" with women in real life--that objectively suppose that
things didn't go well for her on February 14th.
Examples:
"So hey, I see you're still online. I guess you didn't meet the
man of your dreams on Valentine's Day this year."
"Another Valentine's Day came and went...so what do you say
you and I get a head start on making it better next year?"
you and I get a head start on making it better next year?"
"Looks like we've got something in common...we both didn't have
Valentine's Day work out as planned, huh?"
Other years that may be a valid strategy. BUT NOT THIS
YEAR. In her mind, if she goes out with a guy this weekend,
she'll have "salvaged" Valentine's Day.
But that doesn't change that she's still FRUSTRATED over
not having had a date last night, an not having anything planned
for this weekend.
I know, I know. It's a strange psychological dynamic, isn't it?
On one hand, V-day sucks...IN THE MOMENT.
BUT...on the other hand, if she has a date (with you) all will
be wonderful in the universe.
Your job is to make the happiness happen, NOT to remind
her of how miserable she felt until YOU "rescued" her.
That would feel patronizing to her, and like any other human
she'll feel some backlash toward those thoughts and feelings.
Obviously, you don't want to get anchored to that mindset.
So don't remind her of it.
Frankly, you don't even have to spell out what's causing the
"funk". You can rest assured it's there. We all know the deal.
So then, what DO you write to her instead in that first e-mail, or
say to her when you see her in that coffee shop?
Here's the disarmingly simple answer: You write or say exactly
what you would if it were any other day.
That's right, proceed as normal.
Keep your head about you instead of blurting out some trite
"post Valentine's day" cliche...and just quietly expect startlingly
positive results unlike what you've seen before.
Believe me, women will respond voraciously to your attention, all
without you having to call attention to why that is.
Valentine's Day is "water under the bridge" after this weekend
anyway.
It'll make her feel much warmer and fuzzier toward you if you
point her toward the soon-to-be-springlike future (i.e. good)
rather than past consternation (i.e. bad).
3) DON'T WORRY ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED (OR DIDN'T)
YESTERDAY ON VALENTINE'S DAY
YESTERDAY ON VALENTINE'S DAY
Consider this to be kind of like a "don't ask / don't tell" policy.
Don't ask her who she went out with last night. If it happened,
it didn't go well if she's still consuming online dating profiles
like Ms. Pac Man.
And certainly don't ask her why she's still dateless in mid-
February.
Don't volunteer why you are, either.
None of those conversations will end well for you.
In fact, it's a great idea to get outside of your own head in
general here.
Bear in mind that what I'm sharing with you today is fairly
advanced thinking. Even though you've now been armed with
this "insider's view" into what's all going on in her head, she
probably hasn't.
So in other words, she's NEVER going to think of YOU as having
"failed" on Valentine's Day when you show interest in her.
Why? Because she'll likely be too wrapped up in her own self-
perceived Valentine's Day "failure" to get around to that.
Besides, she'll be hard-wired to hold great expectations that
you're the amazing guy you truly are who'll sweep her off of her
feet...and away from the pain.
Again, today is no different than any other day. You'll only look
needy and desperate if YOU choose to make it so.
So let's wrap this up.
In summary, the three steps to post-Valentine's Day success are:
1) Know what's going on in her head,
2) Stay mum about Valentine's Day and proceed as you would on
any other day, and
3) Drop any self-conscious concern over your own crappy
Valentine's Day experience. Both of you have a nice weekend
ahead of you, at least potentially.
These three steps really sound incredibly basic, don't they?
They are.
But the crazy part is that if you follow them you'll be light years
ahead of virtually every other guy out there who somehow never
thought them through on his own.
And that's exactly what makes these three steps pure gold, even
if they're "no-brainers".
Be Good,
Scot McKay
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